To understand me solely poem

To understand me solely

Would make me oh so lonely

I understand that now

It's a way too proud way to be 

To understand the world

Without knowing where i'm heading

Is way too doormatty and will 

Pose a risk to my self esteem

So do that no more, just cower at the door

Think, do i wanna be in charge

Or do i wanna charge for this

All of this pity that walks among me

And savor the bite of the sweetest pie

That made it to my table this july

Walked along the sun and smile

Rise above the waves and glide

Wonder only about what is in the future

And not about how the past can haunt

Plan out everything in advance

And throw away papers for adventure

For, these plans for life do not pin well

To the wall of failures that are soon to show

For maps of trails that lead to nowhere

That we never even took a step towards

But here we are in a place we know not of

And need to discover once more

Cause i'm not 20 anymore 

And i don't know things i once did

And i forgot things that i once hid

And i believe things that once were boring

And i don't accommodate anyone else's story

But mine, i step in my own two feet

Whether they are frail or hard to keep

Walking with i do not take on anyone else’s persona

Not anymore, not a loner

Maybe a bit, but not so much to not do enough

For the day to feel distasteful and out of play

I can play, i can lay  i can see the sun in my eyelids

I don't need a play by play of what happened while i hid

And sit inside my 4 walls that suddenly are comfy

I just  sit with my tea and watch the world above me

Here i can forget the mourning of the past

And here i can invite what’s yet to come at last

The growing years, the teenage tears

The wonder of the firsts

The bright lights, the darkened nights

And through it all, I'm here.