every day every me

  BABYSITTER 4.16.24 When you go up against yourself It’s a laugh, a smile, in the concrete That you hide from yourself to the pity And need me is all you can remember but can you For once rely on you? For you are the most Reliable of all that sits with arms folded Hanging onto past neediness like it’s the Mesmerizing stance of today, but you’re free To be, to see, to view, to lean in and not be Pulled back to the past, instead you Crawl with your bloody fingers, clasp at the walls That speak lies about your beginning, putting  Yourself into a constant state of amnesia But keep your head above water, the body will Follow, swallow your instincts to make them void Choice is now allowed and crowned are you As the ruler of your destiny, no more walking Along side, bride, you escape the alter And stride far from the path that ran clear Through your veins for you to follow, allow yourself To wallow in discredited dismay that clung to the  Fortunes of the future, if it was that ...

  I guess i’m on the road to recovery, Smiling somberly Wondering about this dream Wandering out into the streets Walking away from parallel walks of life And going headfirst into the pavement I mean its me again What did i expect Was i thinking that id have a straight forward thought Even with myself? Who am i kidding? Im a maze Amazing maze to myself which i get lost in  And cherish, no one else does well im my own Settling on hardships that looked like triumphs And setting up boundaries that look like obstacles For me and for them and if they could cross them Then ill be there, and if they just fall , they werent meant for me I was that way and that way i should be I had my recovery of all things vile to my wellbeing And passed it and now im completely clean And clean wasnt a thing that i wanted to be But inside i guess, it was something that had to happen For me to think completely clearly and nothing in my way But not today, today im standing and wondering If i wiped out ...

  Wonderful constant trust Like a wave that comes towards us Winking at all passing by I wish i could see eye to eye With me I wish i could see my eyes And how they cry over tiny things That make no sense to cry over But so sense it is lost to me That i believe in casualty Of the mind and i am done Here i am, hand in arm Here i am wishing for harm To be shown to the past Our last endeavor wasn't treasured Much, but i could touch the spots That are fragile, i could see On my face the lines of life All the sights that made their way Through my path and crippled me To make me into a majority That closes eyes to majesty Let alone i was gone for those moments Anyway, so how could i say that i've lived Through them, that i've concluded A valid perception in every direction When it is I that blinded myself to See me clearly within When it is i that brought the treasure To the fountain and spilled it out Thinking it was meaningless for being a thing That all that matters is thought...

  Once positive ur formula is changed,  ur rearranged ur headgear is damaged  u sink back into the unknown  but all u need to know is that its there,  whatever it is, its for real and its bare,  it shows u its constant while u show it the incomplete  but what u do for it is what u do for me,  show it all u want, but it will only see  what u let it see, the glory and the trees  the hiding beneath the plants  the fighting with urself  that u have nothing left,  wen u come to him the realization that ur empty,  feelings empty emotions null,  u just caved into an empty skull,  u have no words u have no ambitions  u just thought u were on a mission  to say more to speak more,  to hear more while u see less,  here u are, confess, illustrate the mess,  bring along the quiet time,  did u not want it mimes all around,  shower down,  bring the conquest enjoy the worry,  don...

  Allow it to fester allow it to muster Allow all the feelings to come forth and reveal Whats truly inside and not just in the mind What are u shaking from? Fright or the night Is the loneliness scaring u or are u just scared to move forth With the plan that isnt set but in ur mind u just yawn Cause u been through this, u jus dont want it again But its handed to u nicely this time, just dont regret Cause u looked at it different, and u want to let go But ur hand keeps ahold and u cling like u cant Bring urself back to life , like u dont know what partnership is Well u dont , but i do so let me tell u Partnering means u belong to each other Whether here or there, but u look for another Way to get out of the way that u feel , here you have to feel love Not alone, here you have to feel courage and be strong Here you have to see sound and feel noise, U have to get the choices out of ur head And not panic when things dont go as planned Because ur here on a limp and yes u put urself out ...

  To mother is to life Here we are at the start of the page no less deranged no less, amicable Knowing less of the world outside No less of the world inside for i was numb But cumbersome and wanderlust Thinking with my toes and not with my brain Wondering if sane is still in style today But what can i know but to focus on the now And the here and after all the diapers and the chasing Theres not much left to do but sit in amazement Created a life, and still creating Wonder if shock gives in to the phasing Of the chapter 2 or 3 or 4 I was such a bore before compared to this I cant run obstacles anymore and catch my breath But think of all the chores And think of all the lines of all the lists that i can permit And those papers and the files, all the secretary Doctor calls, what do i do with my mind at all I cant persist on knowing this that twenty year old mind is gone Its become mature, i have sat at my door and pondered no more Cause the time for pondering stopped and the time for ...

  So when did you become so frightened So afraid of life like it back stabbed you Like you’re a little girl in the hall Bully of a life, like you had it by the horns Let go and now you can't get back on It's ok, slow down. Drown your thoughts in Water, clear… mind is becoming a vessel of Trampled thoughts one top of another Cover, blame all the victims of your misfortune It's not the same, but keep going Poison the rivers of your past It will seep into your skin, become immune When did you seek justice for nothing When it comes too soon when all you wanted Was to be up by noon to become everything I'm gettin to it, you wanted to be All the titles and all the streets to shout your name She's a nurse, an organizer, a really good person She's a therapist, a starter, and someone to put a curse on But someone to be scared of and do you remember When you didn't think you did it when the mood shifted Do you remember when blaming the outside was Refreshing to you be...