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Something pleasant poem

 



I just want something pleasant

Something that makes me feel the same way

That the greenery makes me feel when i walk

Through it and talk to nature

Such long thoughts and they drown out with life

And make me feel uplifted and not contemplating

Not making any decisions or debating

With myself cause im with nature

And it gets me cause im one part of it

But when i sink back into my room

Look back in doom

Like i'm looking at my mood

And wanna smack it in the face

Cause everything can be erased

And start brand new but instead

I have a tight grip on my past

And i wanna make it make sense but how

When i can't answer half the questions ever again

When i can't look in their eyes again

And see results, so just constant analysis is there

With nothing to get when i figure it out

Or think i do, for it is inputted back in my mind

And no prize this time for making a cloud

Of ideas and theories that might help go forward

No personal achievement, just crown the loser

And make her wait in the corner till her name is calling

But what is my name?what is my title

What have a felt and what do i strive for

What did i think i was gonna accomplish

By letting go of things that never demolished

My wellbeing if anything i was a grudge to myself

Put me in a boiling put and make me feel hell

Why cant anxiety just disappear for once

And maybe my meditation will be medication at some

Times, i could see the crowd dissipate

And my smile will return to my frowning face

And the smile i put on now won't seem so fake

Why can't i run this short race

It's not too far to the finish line

The finish line of depression and anger and go on

To the next mission of life  the next chapter that’s already started

But i'm still here on my mark get set, stop

Can't move a drop feel like i'm slipping on ice

And i'm crashing like a doe that doesn't have her bearings right

Why didn't i grow up to be teacher of some

And instead i'm all baring to the naked sun

Instead i look in the face of the only one

That gets me with no words

No explanation, no hurts

Just a brand new title that i could merge with myself

And step out of the shell of the past trauma so i could tell

This one innocence that im innocent too once more

And i could see that the doors have opened ajar

And i can speak into possibilities that don't seem too far

Maybe once i learn to walk to the door

I can open it with confidence and know what i want more

For once you know what you want, you’re gonna get it

And sooner or later, there's no reason to feel threatened

No paranoia, no reason for fright

Cause i will feel the breeze of happiness at night

That will put a smile on my face and make me calm

Oh how I want that time to come.

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